‘Sharp Objects’ finale–do you know who did it?

I hope you also are obsessed with the HBO series “Sharp Objects” because I HAVE TO TALK about it right now, before the final episode airs Sunday night & everybody who Are you addicted to the HBO series "Sharp Objects" & cannot wait for the finale? Join me as we discuss suspects & theories & why David Tennant should never again play an American.read the book will smile smugly on Monday morning & shrug & say, condescendingly, “I can’t believe you didn’t figure it out.”

Because I haven’t.

And it’s possible that reading the book wouldn’t have helped, because: “Gracepoint.” I know that “Gracepoint” & its superior older sister “Broadchurch” weren’t born from books, but the whole “Gracepoint” debacle highlights the folly of thinking you know how somethingAre you addicted to the HBO series "Sharp Objects" & cannot wait for the finale? Join me as we discuss suspects & theories & why David Tennant should never again play an American. ends because of the way the original version ended. (“Gracepoint” also taught us that David Tennant cannot do American.  A minor quibble.) But I do have “Sharp Objects” waiting in my Kindle app & I’m diving in at 9:01 p.m. Central.

So, may we discuss? Please? Thank you. Here are my random “Sharp Objects” thoughts:

  • First, does anybody else think “Sharper Image” when you first think “Sharp Objects?” Nope? Just me?
  • If Patricia Clarkson & Amy Adams don’t receive multiple award nominations for their performances, there is no justice in the world.
  • So, whodunit? The Interwebs is full of theories & guesses about the killer(s?): Adora, Allen, Amma, John Keene & even Camille. But my pick is the sheriff’s wife–the character with the least screen time, the fewest lines & the most innocuous actions. She obviously is the killer because she’s the most un-obvious. I realize that this is a totally ridiculous an unpopular theory that nobody else takes seriously. However, again, I refer to the teachings of “Broadchurch”/”Gracepointe.” What did we learn from those shows? We learned that it’s always the most minor character, the most generically fade-into-the-background helpful person whose main lines seem to be “Sure, I can help you that.” That’s the person to watch out for. In both intensely gloomy Gothic mysteries & the office football pool. You’re welcome.
  • And, finally, what is up with Missouri being all Southern? Look at any map of the U.S. and it’s clear that Missouri trends more mid than south. Also: St. Louis. I mean, Missouri is a nice place & has nice people but it is not in the South. (Let us not speak of Missouri’s unfortunate inclusion in the SEC, bless their hearts.) If “Sharp Objects” wants to be Southern Gothic, it should live in Louisiana. Or perhaps southern Mississippi or L.A. (“Lower Alabama”). Just sayin’.

So, there are my “Sharp Objects” ramblings, with a little David Tennant thrown in. Will you be in front of your TV screen Sunday night, ready for some answers? Or have you read the book & you THINK you know? Who tops your suspect list? Maybe we need a butler.




I am absolutely obsessed with these books and have slowly been working my way through the Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child sections of my local library. I have to admit I’d never heard of this thriller-writing team until my daughter and son-in-law lent me some paperbacks with intriguing recommendation of  “better — and earlier — than Dan Brown.” Who could resist that? Preston and Child collaborate on the can’t-put-it-down  series about FBI Special Agent Augustus Pendergast, a sophisticated genius-level investigator who combines otherworldly mental acuity with almost super-human physical strength — yet he still has weaknesses and makes mistakes. So he’s just like us, really! The ongoing series started out as your typical ancient-beast-roaming-deserted-museum-halls type of mystery but now has morphed into a to-the-death chase between our Good Guy and his evil brother, Diogenes Pendergast. There’s also plenty of wine, a creepy mansion, a girl-woman who’s much older somehow than she looks, a curious and impetuous newspaper reporters to keep things riled up and a straight-shooting hardworking police officer to keep things grounded. I’m telling you, once you get hooked you’ll read these books straight through and then haunt the bookstore for the next one — Fever Dream, due out in May. Preston and Child also have written other books both together and each separately that mostly seem to follow the same pattern: Scientists or archaeologists or some other type of professionals discover fossils/dead frozen animals/ancient writings/deadly bacteria/computer viruses that will cause widespread damage and body counts unless Something Is Done In The Next 24 Hours To Stop It. And you know, something always is done, which is reassuring. I think I’ve read more than a dozen of these books in the past couple months — they’re perfect for snow days or when you’re too sick to go to work but not sick enough to spend the whole day sleeping. Go to http://www.prestonchild.com for more.