You all know that I am naturally cynical, suspicious and contrary, but even the sweetest among us, I think, would scoff at these “Weekend in the Country” clothes from a popular fashion-shopping Web site. I mean, seriously? Are you kidding? Look, I’ve lived in the country before (at least, I’ve lived in a house where you could see cows across the road) and mainly what you wear on the weekends are 8-year-old tennis shoes, baggy T-shirts from 1980s concert tours and jeans that are ripped and torn not because you spent $300 for them to be that way but because you caught them on a rusty nail. Or maybe that’s just me. And anyway, the “country weekend” looks touted by this e-mail ad — plaids, tights, boots — are pretty much what we Alabama folks wear all winter and fall, whether we’re in the country or in the busiest bustling metro downtown. (Don’t laugh — have you ever been in Birmingham at rush hour? ‘Nuff said.) Look, in all honesty, I know this ad is about the eastern seaboard upper-class tradition of vacating the work week city for a relaxing New England country weekend. I know that. I’m just amused and slightly annoyed at this latest example of the New York City-centric retail-fashion industry once again forgetting that there are other women in other parts of the country who enjoy shopping for trends but don’t need to be condescended to with some sort of Vermont-country-inn fantasy. On the other hand, now that I look at those lace-up stiletto suede booties, I kind of like them. Wouldn’t they look great as you tromped through a beautiful fall forest wearing a denim mini-skirt, plaid jacket and tights? Curse you, American advertising machine!!!