This is the job I want — Vice President in Charge of Naming Stuff. You know these folks took their afternoon business meeting/strategy session to the open-air beach bar where pitchers of beer are $2 and the boss had told them “We need new names and logos for our soft drinks so DO NOT LEAVE THAT MEETING UNTIL YOU’VE COME UP WITH SOMETHING,” and they didn’t. I just hope that dr. perky and mountain lion (Capitalization, people. CAPITALIZATION.) never get together and have babies.
Coffee with Cathy 
I think dr. perky and mountain lion have already been taken by Apple as operating system names. I smell lawsuit!!
In the immortal words of Mitch Hedburg:
“I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender…. all you do is say what the [thing] does, and add “er”. I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps [stuff] fresh. Well, that’s a fresher….I’m going on break.”
Joe — Naturally!