Christmas Parade

Oh, dahling! Who are these marvelous creatures? Why, it’s the mysterious Girls Raised In The South (GRITS) Queens, a group of elegant and royal women who descend from their castles every year to meet their adoring fans during the Tuscumbia, Alabama, Christmas parade. This is the Queens’ only public appearance — their presence creates such a stir of love and devotion among their people that everyone agrees once a year is plenty. That’s also why they must conceal their identities — the price of fame, you know. Anyway, for years my No. 1 Christmas wish has been to be asked to don a boa and tiara and fur coat and comb out my Tammy Faye-hair and take my place in this distinguished and beloved group. I must have proven my queenliness lately because this is the year I got the call — and with humble gratitude, I accepted. And had a royal blast. Who could not love waving to screaming fans and throwing packages of grits from a horse-drawn carriage? But the reporter in me couldn’t pass up such a great story — I agreed to keep the GRITS Queens’ secrets and they graciously agreed to let me write about the experience in my weekly newspaper column, http://www.timesdaily.com/article/20091211/ARTICLES/912115005. All I can say is that everybody should find a parade, gather some girlfriends, put on your best gown and rent a horse and carriage — you’ll love every minute!

Family and Christmas Trees

If you’re the oldest in the family and a girl and you’ve got one or more younger brothers, you know what a responsibility it is to keep those boys in line. I’ve been at it for almost 50 years and apparently my job isn’t done yet. Take, for instance, decorating the family Christmas tree. When we were young, Christmas began when our dad brought the big packing-barrel of tree ornaments out of storage and begin untangling the lights. As soon as the tree was draped with twinkling red and green and yellow-gold, we kids took over. (And it’s only now that I recognize my mother’s genius in making us children feel it was an honor and privilege to decorate the tree, thereby marking at least one chore off her holiday to-do list — a lesson I, sadly, never learned to apply to my own family. Sigh.) Anyway, I am four years older than my brother — our other brother is 16 years younger than me and didn’t figure into my growing-up adventures — and I always feel felt anointed with special powers of superiority, no matter what the subject. During the holidays, that subject was the Christmas tree. As my now-middle brother and I unpacked the ornaments and placed them on the tree, we inevitably began arguing. Why? Because my brother couldn’t follow basic principles of Christmas-tree design! I mean, c’mon! Who doesn’t know you’re supposed to put big ornaments in the back and lighter ones in front? Who doesn’t understand you’re supposed to balance colors and texture?? Who doesn’t get it that you put shiny ornaments next to lights to enhance their shininess??? It’s not rocket science here, people!!!! Whoops … sorry … deep breath … deep breath … As you can see, I maybe still have an obsessive-compulsive problem with tree-decorating. And with my brother. Because when I went to my parents’ house this past weekend to help them put up their tree (It is a privilege and an honor, right?), I found a note from my brother staking out placement for his favorite ornament: “Do not rehang. Sister, this means you! It’s perfect.” My mom said that he said he would have done all the tree decorating when he was there the day before but he knew I’d stage a redo. Just because he’s now a photographer and a college professor who teaches photography and art, I guess maybe he thinks he knows something about design. And big sisters.

Christmas Decor

This past weekend it seemed as if folks finally were catching the Christmas spirit. I mean, how can you not when you look out the window on Saturday morning and see snow? In my northwest corner of Alabama, sadly, it was only freezing  bitter cold — although beating Florida and moving up to  No. 1, football-wise, certainly put everybody in a festive mood — but as you headed east and north, it definitely was snowflake time. In Lynchburg, Tennessee, it was the weekend of the annual Christmas festival and holiday tour of homes, where snow crunching underfoot was just an added bonus. This Lynchburg homeowner decided to help Mother Nature along with these gorgeous bigger-than-life snowflakes in the front-yard tree. Just seeing this made me smile … and want to immediately head to a roaring fire with a mug of hot chocolate and plenty of refills.